About a year ago, while I was talking with a friend, I suddenly realized — the organizing factor of our homeschooling has always been what creates engagement in my children.
When you present a lot of homeschooling workshops and presentations, you are plagued by the things you left out of your talks and questions you didn’t have time to get to. It’s like being in a situation where you need a snappy comeback, and as soon as you leave the room, what comes to your mind is the perfect thing you should have said.
This year, as one of three featured speakers, I presented four talks at the 2016 VaHomeschoolers Conference and Resource Fair, a record number for me at this conference.
I Left Out Singing with the Crowd
In the session “Let Your House do the Homeschooling,” I meant to sing a song. Seriously. I was talking about setting things up in your house ahead of time, so you as a homeschool parent can benefit from your forethought during your busy homeschooling days. I usually get the crowd to sing along to the tune of “Happy Birthday.” The rhythm is not perfect, but it goes like this:
To the tune of “Happy Birthday:”
Invest on the front end / Invest on the front end / Avoid scrambling later / Invest on the front end.
How could I forget this? I’ve remembered to use the little ditty when I presented this session previously.
But – I had so many fun things to talk about during this presentation, and I had photos of homeschooling houses and educational furnishings to share. It’s so easy these days to project photos of nature tables and homeschool rooms and reading nooks right into the theater!
However, if you were in my audience, as you are setting up your learning centers and purchasing your Periodic Table of Elements shower curtain, you can remind yourself of what you are accomplishing – “avoid scrambling later” – by humming my intended rewrite of “Happy Birthday.”
We were supposed to sing it together.
I Couldn’t Include This Link on Homeschool Rooms
After I got home from the conference, I also received an email related to “Let Your House Do the Homeschooling.” Kim Sorgius of the Not Consumed blog gave me permission to use the photos from her article, “The Tale of Two Homeschool Rooms,” in my PowerPoint presentation. Alas, I received her email in that famous recovery period which conference volunteers and travelers know as A.T.C. – After The Conference.
However, I had included the link to the Not Consumed website in my handout for that session, which I could do without violating copyright of her photos. Now you have the link here, and you can read the article, see her photos, and see how her thinking has evolved as far as setting up a school room in her home. While Kim’s is a Christian site, her photos and article on this topic, “The Tale of Two School Rooms,” are interesting regardless of your faith.
I Was Too General — and Too Specific
A quick glance through my evaluations after the “Let Your House Do the Homeschooling” session told me that in a sea of high marks and great comments (thank you!), at least one person found the session “too general” and wanted more specific ideas — while another person in the same audience found the session “too specific” and wanted something more general, so she could customize her own specific ideas.
This is sort of like being a reporter and writing a story that makes both Republicans and Democrats feel you are biased against their party and favoring the other party.
Each homeschool conference session has both divergent and linear thinkers. Each session has audience members who want the speaker to provide them with a written outline in the handout or who want you not to provide such an outline. And each session has someone who wants you to be more general – and someone who wants you to be more specific.
And so it goes, the perfect metaphor for why learning at home should be customized for each family member. You can please many of the people much of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. And some of your people will be pleased by opposite things – which goes for the young learners in your homeschooling family as well.
I Didn’t Have the “Office Schooling” Article Published Yet
In my presentation, “That’s How We Role: Ideas for Working Out Earning and Learning,” we talked about the many ways people put together lives that include homeschooling, work, and other responsibilities. My handout for that presentation gave a lot of links to articles about working moms, homeschooling dads, and single parents who are homeschooling, and there was another article I wanted to refer my audience to – but it hadn’t been published yet.
That was my interview with Angie Cutler about “office schooling.” Angie takes her nine-year-old daughter to work and homeschools her in the office of their family-owned business. She doesn’t work from home, and this is a full-time, ongoing, professional business.
And it’s working out. They are truly office schooling.
Since the conference, the article has been published, and now you can read the article online at the website of my publisher, TheHomeSchoolMom.com, to get Angie’s story about how they have taken this unique approach to “Working out Earning and Learning” and made it work for their family. The article is “Office Schooling: One Way to Work and Homeschool.”
I Forgot a PowerPoint Slide
In “Writerly Writing: A Writer’s Approach,” I found myself with a sprawling session that gave an overview of my whole approach to growing writers at home and in homeschool co-ops and classes. Typical of an umbrella-type session, I could have spent an hour each on about five different sub-topics within my talk. When I took questions, it was gratifying to hear that even though I’d been speaking broadly, people were picking up on the ideas that they could apply to their families. I advised parents to play word games, read and write poetry, do freewriting, de-emphasize revision until children are older, make writing social, and help children connect with authors and with being authors themselves.
Unfortunately, I neglected to show my very last slide in the “Writerly Writing” presentation. The slide included a photo of a young girl sitting on the ground and writing in her notebook, accompanied by the text, “Let your child know you value the child you have today, not the writer you hope she will become.”
I’m really disappointed I didn’t show this slide, because it undergirds the whole message of that presentation. As homeschooling parents, we must not look so far ahead to what we hope our children will accomplish that we miss who they are today. Being seen as not measuring up over and over and over again has a negative effect on children – and on their writing. They will shut down and not risk doing anything if what they do is surely going to be seen as either not enough or not good enough.
This does not mean we need to emphasize praise or artificially inflate what we say about or to our children. That extreme won’t produce the desired result either. Kids don’t get better when we are dishonest, but they also don’t get better when they feel like they will never be judged worthy of our acceptance.
In fact, the concept of “growth mindset” (Google it) tells us that labeling children as smart and excellent learners can have damaging effects too, since kids with those labels often actively avoid learning opportunities that could jeopardize their record of success – or experience crippling anxiety in what feels like a risky situation.
I Wish I Had an Umbrella for Connection
Which brings me to my fourth conference presentation – “Side-by-Side Homeschooling: Connected Learning.” Here I talked a lot about what I’ve been researched about brain-based learning. Just like I spoke about in the “Writerly Writing” session, I mentioned that creating a low risk/high challenge environment for learning is one of the things that’s important in homeschooling if we want to maximize academics. That’s according to the book Making Connections: Teaching and The Human Brain, a book by Renate Nummela Caine and Geoffrey Caine, one of my favorite books about learning, which I used in developing my talk.
Here we have the coming together of all my talks, and I wish I could have physically Venn Diagrammed the topics of my other sessions into the big circle of “Connected Learning.” I covered highlights on what we know about brain-based learning, and it turns out that research shows that academic learning does not occur independently. Academic learning totally takes place in the context of relationships, physical environment, interests, feelings, and physiology – among other things.
Setting up your home to be a better homeschooling space, like we discussed in “Let Your House Do the Homeschooling?” That’s actually an element of brain-based learning.
Creating a high-challenge/low risk environment for writing – or any other subject? That’s actually an element of brain-based learning.
Managing the roles of homeschooling and work so that parents can connect to their children? That’s actually an element of brain-based learning.
Not only in all of my conference sessions, but everywhere I turn these days, I see that homeschooling can create a positive environment for learning, because in our homes, in our families, we do not have to use an institutional approach that is frequently at odds with what we know about how people learn. So if I physically could have shoehorned my other sessions into this one, so we could have all felt the umbrella of connected learning, that’s what I would have done.
And I would have done one more thing.
I’d Reassure the “Underachiever” Homeschooling Parents
In a chat with a new homeschooler after the conference, I heard that while she was inspired by her time at the conference and all the presentations she heard, she also felt, in a way, that she might not measure up. She told me she’s not like the homeschoolers who were making presentations – not as good at crafts and not as good at making things interesting for kids.
She said she really doesn’t want to homeschool as much as she wants the best for her child, and she believes that homeschooling is far better than what her child was experiencing in public school. While she doesn’t actively dislike homeschooling, and she loves spending time with her child, she’s just not as into it as the conference speakers are.
“I think ya’ll need to get some underachiever moms to speak at the conference so people will feel more normal when they listen,” she messaged me. “Just kidding,” she added.
So, if I could go back and add to what I said at the conference, I’d make it clear that the struggle to homeschool even along my own ideals is just that – a struggle.
Many days during what is now my 19th year of homeschooling have involved my questioning myself, my inadequacy, my impatience, my doing something other than what I’d recommend to someone else.
Yes, we’ve had our magical days and moments of snuggled reading and amazing projects and original music/code/debate. But we’ve also had our stormy days and moments of doubt and exhaustion and failed experiments and I-don’t-want-to-do-this-any-more.
Which makes me cling ever harder to stuffing our homeschooling under the Venn Diagram’s circle of connection.
Because reality, my friends, includes anxiety and parental all-nighters and misspent curriculum money and lost library books and kids playing way more video games than you ever expected when you embarked on this homeschooling deal.
And actually, a few years ago, I did do a conference session called “Homeschool Reality,” about the disappointments, the difficulties, the gut-wrenchingness of homeschooled kids who, like their schooled peers, sometimes make bad choices or can’t find their way.
Yes, all of us.
At a conference, we have the opportunity to share and learn from one another’s good ideas. Speakers have less than an hour to express their ideas, so the natural emphasis is on what works, what might work for someone else. This picture of homeschooling leaves out the knotted hair and the sink full of dirty dishes and the workbook that was ripped in half by a frustrated child. Or a frustrated parent.
One of the problems inherent in blog posts, articles, and conference sessions about homeschooling is that many of us are unwilling to make our children — or ourselves — the subjects of an ongoing reality show. This is wise, I think, since kids don’t deserve to have a role thrust on them in which they must be poster children for homeschooling (or for anything else, for that matter), especially with their problems highlighted in great detail.
Many homeschoolers generously offer little windows of what homeschooling is like. However, most homeschoolers use some care so as not to burden their children by making weaknesses or mistakes so detailed and public that the kids are plagued by in-depth public knowledge of their shortcomings. It can be a difficult balance.
That said, you can rest assured that experienced homeschooling parents don’t reach perfection. They might develop an extra bag of tricks. They might develop a cohesive philosophy of education. They might know how to organize a co-op or a park day. They might know all the best historical fiction books to pair with a middle school study of American history, and for me, it’s especially intimidating when they can also throw in a craft to accompany each book.
But in the end, we’re all just parents trying to do the best we can. We won’t always get it right, and our kids definitely don’t live in a perfect homeschool world. As I’ve said before, there is no homeschool guarantee.
It was a great conference, and I said a lot of things across four sessions, but I wish I’d said that again, too.
I’ll speak next at the LDSHE East Conference May 25-27, 2016 in Ellicott City, Maryland. My topic for the Beginners’ Seminar will be “At Home Instead: Deschooling and Making Your House Work,” and my topic for the general home education conference will be “Engaged Homeschooling.” Maybe I’ll see you there!
First I “Periscoped” an overview of Engaged Homeschooling philosophy, but that was not such a successful broadcast because I was apparently too far from the router, causing sync problems with audio and video. Once someone suggested this may have been the problem, I tried Periscoping from a different room in the house to see if I got better results.
That second Periscope broadcast did work out better technically (though really, quality has a lot of room for development, even though the whole concept is something broadcasters couldn’t have dreamed of back in the day) — and it gave me a chance to explain a little more about the Virginia Homeschool High School Symposium.
If you’d like to hear what the Symposium is all about — or you’d like to get a glimpse of how Periscope works for a new user, watch my video on the Virginia Homeschool High School Symposium.
I’m excited to share a symposium for homeschooled teens that I’ve been working on conceptually for a long time. Teens (14 and up – “high school age”) will come together November 4 for an advanced “show and tell” where they’ll share their projects and passions across all fields of interest. The aim is to create a social and academic peer experience for teen homeschoolers and recent grads.
UPDATE: The Symposium has filled with homeschooled teens from around the state, and registration is now closed. If you would like to be placed on the waiting list in case of a cancellation, please scroll down to the bottom of this post. Looking forward to seeing all the great kids at the Symposium!
The event will be held beginning at 12 Noon, Wednesday, November 4, at Passion Academy (3921 Deep Rock Road, Henrico, VA — this is on the northwest side of Richmond).
So I’m putting out the call for homeschooled high schoolers and recent homeschool graduates from Virginia and beyond to participate in this symposium with an original project, paper, video or audio production, performance, creative response, experience, service work, game, experiment, design, journal, observation, invention, solution, business plan, travelogue, code, or composition related in some way to the theme, “Power.”
Students will gather to present, demonstrate, display, read, or perform their work and participate in discussion about its implication, craft, and connection to the theme – POWER.
Works are welcome from any area which can touch on the implications of any aspect of “Power” – including the arts, history, social science, technology, engineering, media, geography, science, math, politics, sports, writing, current events, or other areas.
Don’t let the theme throw you – power exists in many forms, and your presentation, reading, performance, artwork, model, or display may be about power or may depict power or may explain power or may demonstrate power or may show your personal power. Think of all the possibilities – solar power, wind power, the power of music, political power, the power of athletes, the physical power it takes to dance, the power of photography, a paper about the power of Martin Luther King (the power of nonviolence) or – simply – the power of an animation or video you create or a dramatic scene you enact. There are power plants, powerful poems and songs you’ve written, and power chords. We have horse power, water power, brain power, and fire power. And there’s always the question, what’s your super power? If you’ve got a passion, you can fit the theme of power into or around it.
Students are welcome to adapt existing projects they have created previously or use material they are currently working on for a class or current study, or they can develop something new for this gathering. Jeanne is available by email to dialogue with students and parents about their work or about the theme.
Basically — to the students I say this: come sing for us, tell us about your favorite novel, read us your story, show us your scientific research, demonstrate your tech project (robotics? animation? app? code? hardware?), present your ideas on history or politics, play your instrument, do your stand-up, show us your photos and artwork, make us the perfect smoothie, read us your poetry or short story, tell us about your passion (does not have to be academic) – and so on – and see what other teens are working on.
It’s all about what you are engaged in.
Each student will have up to fifteen minutes for presentation followed by up to fifteen minutes of facilitated discussion, review, and guided appreciation. Students are asked to participate in the discussions (but no one will be badgered).
A maximum of twelve participants — ages 14 and over — will be accepted to the symposium. A minimum of six participants will need to be registered to hold the symposium.
Participants will be expected to be open to a wide variety of viewpoints, similar to discussion, presentations, and performances that might occur in a college seminar.
I’ll be leading the facilitated discussion myself. For those who have been in my writing workshops, co-op classes, or conference workshops — the feel will be similar, with respect and support for kids who “are where they are” with their interests and their comfort in sharing their work. We’ll make it relaxed and fun.
I’ll be glad to correspond with teens about their work prior to the Symposium, to give them ideas and support.
And yes, if this idea sticks, I’ll expand it — adding capacity for more teens and also adding similar programs for middle schoolers and late elementary-age kids. Basically, I just want kids to have even more exposure to what their homeschooled colleagues are doing, venturing beyond their usual co-ops, classes, and communities to share the cool things they’re doing and learning.
If you have any questions, use the contact form below, and I’ll get back to you within a day or so.
Pilot program discount registration $30 (available for 11/4/2015 event only; prices will vary for future events). Ask about sibling discounts. (All participants must be age 14 or over).
UPDATE: The Symposium has now met the maximum number of registrants. If you are interested, please complete the form below to be placed on a waiting list in case of cancellations.
The answer? Whatever engages your child.
Think that’s a bogus answer?
The truth is, no matter how long we’ve been homeschooling, experienced homeschoolers can’t tell a new homeschooler which curriculum to use, or even which approach to homeschooling to use (and some homeschooling approaches do not even use curriculum per say).
That’s because we don’t know which curriculum or approach will engage your child.
We can make recommendations. You can read reviews.
But there are some uncomfortable truths about curriculum selection:
- Your curriculum selection will be a process of trial and error. You need to be willing to change it if it doesn’t work. Having spent money on something is no excuse for continuing to use it when it doesn’t work. Sell it or give it away. It might work for someone else. See my two rules for engaging kids through homeschooling.
- Preschoolers should not be required to do early formal academic lessons from a curriculum. They need opportunities to play and do engaging things with people who are important to them. They need you to read to them and take walks with them. They need to make art, use their imaginations, learn to wonder, use their bodies, go places, and do things. Ditch any curriculum or approach for a young child that doesn’t have you snuggling on the couch together with books, playing outside, building stuff, and looking at the moon.
- More important than curriculum selection for most new homeschoolers* is the process of deschooling — getting used to a non-school normal. Read the Engaged Homeschooling links to deschooling to get started. If you haven’t given attention to deschooling, but you’re picking out curriculum, you’re more likely to make a curriculum choice that will not work. And hey, if your child has never been to school, this still applies to you — there’s a five-part series on Parental Deschooling listed there, because parents need to deschool in order to homeschool well.
- *Some new homeschoolers do have to prioritize picking out curriculum. This includes people who may be homeschooling their son or daughter for a year of high school when there is a strong chance that child may return to high school the next year. That’s because high schools in most states get to decide on placement and credits for work done at home. This also includes people who may be homeschooling a high school age athlete who wants to play a sport in college. That’s because they will need to adhere to NCAA guidelines regarding curriculum.
- Your homeschooling approach trumps your curriculum selection. Meaning, your general philosophy about how you want to approach homeschooling is ultimately more important to your child and ultimately a big factor in any curriculum you will choose. Will you use a projects-based approach? A school-at-home approach? A Charlotte Mason or Montessori or Waldorf-based approach? A unit studies approach? An unschooling approach? An eclectic approach? A Classical approach? A co-op approach? An online approach? If you don’t know what these things are, your homework is to read about each of these approaches to homeschooling.
- Engagement is the most important factor. If your curriculum doesn’t engage your child, it is a waste of time. It doesn’t matter whether the math is spiral- or mastery-based. It doesn’t matter whether the reading is phonics- or whole word-based. It doesn’t matter whether the curriculum is Christian or secular. If your child isn’t engaged, the curriculum will not assist in creating genuine learning.
All this curriculum stuff is somewhat akin to how a kid will get a great toy as a birthday gift that a parent is so glad to have found and managed to afford — but then the child spends more time playing with the really cool box it came in.
That happens with homeschooling. You buy a well-respected curriculum you are excited about and sure of (“and it has everything planned out for me”) — and your kid learns more from working on a bike and reading about gears and ratios.
In fact, I have a whole series over at TheHomeschoolMom on what learning resources you can use Instead of Curriculum, because I’m so excited about the power of these kinds or resources in stimulating engagement.
So what’s a new homeschooler to do?
You can take a shot and choose a curriculum, understanding you’ll probably make major adjustments. Please don’t make your kid miserable with homeschooling before making the changes you realize you need to make. You can still read about deschooling and try the recommended activities, and you can still use the “Instead of Curriculum” type suggestions that experienced homeschoolers will be glad to tell you about.
Or, you can not choose a curriculum right away, emphasizing deschooling and “Instead of Curriculum”-type learning experiences. Then after you understand a little more about the experiences and materials that engage your child, you can hone in on an approach to homeschooling and a curriculum that reflects that approach.
For some people, choosing a curriculum and then adjusting is a valuable part of the journey. Getting a curriculum that turns out not to be engaging helps you determine what will engage your child. “Starting somewhere” is getting started, after all, and that’s ok, as long as you don’t become entrenched and insistent on continuing to use a tool that doesn’t fit the job.
Other people like saving money and exploring learning options without choosing a curriculum right away. They, too, are “starting somewhere.”
The important thing to remember is that while it feels like curriculum choice is going to guide your homeschooling in all the right academic directions, it’s really a child’s engagement that is the critical factor in terms of how much he or she will learn.
While curriculum continues to be the hot question for new homeschoolers, we do well to be mindful that while curriculum can fill the bucket, engagement will light the fire.
Curious about homeschooling? Want to know facts instead of stereotypes? Need a program for your community group, education organization, university classroom, business forum, political association, or parents meeting?
Homeschooling 101: Homeschooling for Non-Homeschoolers is the perfect introduction to homeschooling for people who would like to get real information about homeschooling in Virginia and the United States.
If you’d like to hear about the new face of homeschooling, let’s work it out so I can speak to your group. We can talk about who is homeschooling, why people homeschool, statistics in Virginia and the U.S., approaches to homeschooling, homeschoolers’ relationships with and attitudes toward schools, and how homeschooling is one of the ways to fully meet the legal requirements for compulsory attendance in Virginia.
We can also talk about how businesses, libraries, community organizations, educational institutions, museums, and others can and do partner with homeschoolers.
Homeschoolers in Virginia, taken together, would amount to the eighth largest school division in The Commonwealth today, according to StatChat, produced by the Demographics Research Group at UVA.
Homeschoolers also tend to be highly engaged in their communities.
That’s a group worth knowing real facts about. The demographics of who is homeschooling, what their families are like, and their main reason for homeschooling are much different than the stereotype. I have crunched the numbers both for Virginia and the U.S., using well-respected sources. I have homeschooled from kindergarten through twelfth grade for 17 years in three states in eight different communities, work as a homeschool evaluator, and speak to many homeschooling families at conferences each year.
If you’d like an orientation to today’s homeschooling — and to understand how homeschooling parents engage their kids in learning — contact me to set up a lively presentation or consultation.
At the VaHomeschoolers Conference yesterday, one of my talks was “Beyond School Daze: The Deschooling Process.”
Deschooling is the transition time between school and homeschooling, a period of adjustment that both parents and kids have to make as they change from school norms to new family norms.
Experienced homeschoolers recommend that families who are new to homeschooling take a period of time to “de-school” before launching into home education. It’s counter-intuitive, but often children need some time to rediscover their interests, their natural rhythm of learning, their sense of curiosity, and what drives them to engage. During a deschooling period, parents can tune in to what is creating a spark in their kids, and use that information to help decide on an approach to homeschooling and what to look for in a curriculum, if they are going to use one.
It’s all part of getting “out of the box” of school. I watched and heard some cognitive dissonance as parents were wrapping their heads around these new ideas. Frequently parents come to homeschooling determined to do it to the utmost so they won’t “mess up the kids.” It can be startling to be told the first thing need to do is . . . not do a formal approach to “school.”
However, I did give them a long list of educational and family-oriented things to do together with their children — read, watch documentaries, go to museums, visit parks and natural areas, tour historical sites, get outside, get moving, create art, make stuff, re-connect with relatives and friends, meet your librarians, and network and find friends.
I also told them to think of whether there is school reason or a good reason to do things with your homeschooling child — noting that there is often overlap (so don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater), but that you don’t have to do things just because those things were done in school. Instead, you can choose to do the things that work effectively for your child.
That’s what results in engagement.
As I promised my audience, I’m providing the links to a lot of deschooling articles I’ve written — which contain links to most of the sources I listed on the thick handout I distributed with the talk. It’s just so much easier to click through, and I know after I attend any kind of conference, I enjoy going home and reading material by the presenters and thinking through things more deliberately.
These articles are over at TheHomeSchoolMom.com blog, where I’ve been given a wonderful space to reach many homeschoolers with my ideas, which frequently lead to my presentations — and vice versa.
“Will Homeschooling Help ADD/ADHD?” (Beginning to Homeschool a Child with ADD/ADHD Diagnosis or Tendencies)
Five Part Series on Parental Deschooling:
And in case all this “deschooling talk” makes you think homeschoolers are anti-school — that’s just not true. It’s just that the two approaches to education are entirely different. For a look at what homeschoolers think about school, read my article “Do Homeschoolers Hate Public School?”
You might also enjoy my Instead of Curriculum series at TheHomeSchoolMom.com, which has a great many very specific ideas of things children learn from at home that are outside the usual idea of “curriculum.” These ideas are for fun and interesting things to do during the deschooling period — and because they are high quality, engaging activities, you’ll begin to see how learning can take place outside of an institutional environment.
Or just browse all the Jeanne Faulconer homeschooling articles over at TheHomeSchoolMom.com. A lot of them fit an aspect of deschooling you may want to explore further.
If you want kindergartners to lose engagement, just cancel their annual end-of-year show in the name of getting them “College and Career Ready.”
Really, you can’t make this stuff up.
Read the Washington Post article by Valerie Strauss, in which she shows the letter from the New York school administrators, explaining that the five-year-olds’ play has been cancelled. According to the school’s letter:
Although the movement toward more rigorous learning standards has been in the national news for more than a decade, the changing face of education is beginning to feel unsettling for some people. What and how we teach is changing to meet the demands of a changing world.
This is staggeringly sad, that educators must rationalize away the childhoods of children and promote the false notion that more early formal academics will somehow be of greater benefit to them than working together to create and perform a play.
On the other hand, when some wonder why “regular people” are choosing to homeschool their children, just send them a link to the article. If they don’t mistake it for a satirical piece from The Onion, they’ll probably get the point.